Life as an office dog

When Dan told me he was getting an office, I was less than impressed. We had a good routine at home. I had the couch, the bed and the cheese in the fridge. He got to wear his comfy clothes all day. Win/Win.

It was a tough adjustment at first, but I'm getting used to it. On the plus side, I get the afternoon sun, surround sound and Otis the Jack Russell whose mailman-directed Napoleon complex entertains me to no end. On the minus side, the rug's no king bed, but once I fall asleep, it doesn't matter much*.

*Only applicable at work.

Before and After

The coin came up tails.

Grampa Tony: Uh...Maui?

Me: Yes, Grampa?

Grampa Tony: I wanna talk to you about the fifty bucks you won at Superbowl.

Me: Yeah, it was great! I'm thinking about splurging for a taste of Swedish Moose Cheese.

Grampa Tony: Do you know how it makes me look to my friends giving money to a dog?

Me: You should be more concerned about what they think of you being on the dogblog.

Grampa Tony: The what?

Me: We've gone over this.

Office pawlitics

Auntie Robyn runs an office next to Stanley Park. She also runs a secret dog treat operation from the kitchenette. The reason I rudely run past Carmen (–>) in such a hurry to get back there is that I don't want anyone else to see.* Now that my behaviour is documented, I understand I can continue it until my sit-down with HR? I'll keep my eyes open for a meeting-maker.

About the treat-bar, they've just changed their selection and I'm a big fan of the update. The new menu features smaller, but far more flavourful morsels. I'm thinking about putting in a request for cheese chasers, but can't decide between Marble, Brie or Jarlsberg. Hmm...

*Now that the cat's out of the bag, the secret word is "GO" (but you've gotta say it in a certain way).

Top 5 things about my bed

5. The new mattress cover. Uncle Pete and Tante Claire have one at the cottage. Not that I've ever been on their bed. Honestly.

4. The pattern on the duvet cover reminds me of the organic treats from Halifax, which makes me have good dreams.

3. The invitations I get to come up. Like I'm doing the peeps a favour by enjoying 5-star comfort.

2. The King size. It's a lot of real estate. I've even divided it up into neighbourhoods. There's Windowview to the north and Tiia-Toe Town to the southwest. Bathroom Heights is due south, but prevailing wind sometimes makes it not the most pleasant place to be.

1. The fact that Dan and Tiia still think it's their bed.

Ask The Maui Monster

Dan goes into an office every day?? Who is giving you your midday cheese snack?

- Miranda

I know, right? It's completely unacceptable. Luckily, years of picking up the frisbee has made me quite dexterous (look at me, droppin' the big words) so I can open the fridge by myself. It's the ziplock bag that's now causing me grief.

Of course, if my plight interests you, you're more than welcome to come by and help a brother out. The front door is locked, but if you really love me, you'll find a way around that. My suggestion is to call Dan and tell him someone is threatening to cancel 90210 from the PVR schedule. He'll be home faster than you can say Adrianna.*

PS: Don't tell him I said that.

Dear Uncle Peter...

Dan just told me you left the country without informing me. I was less than thrilled at first, but then he showed me where you went and I got happy. And jealous. But mostly happy.

Not much has changed since you left. Actually, that's not true. Dan goes to his office every day, which means the peeps are awake at home only 6 out of every 24 hours. And it's still in complete disarray. I swear, it's a gift.