Reunion

Wicket is a Portuguese Water Dog I grew up with in Trinity; actually, he was my first friend in the park. We got a chance to catch up the other day for some frisbee. He's got pretty good hops, a great centre of gravity and a crazy strong jaw (over there is a picture of him almost ripping my teeth out). I like to think I taught him everything he knows. I also like to think Tiia loves the smell of what I roll in as much as I do.

Wicket moved out of the 'hood last year, so we met up in Bickford. I really like it there. Dan and I have been going through Bickford a lot more now that Aunty Becky's new office is close by. Maybe she'll start keeping dog treats by her computer? Ahem.

Dan calls it frisbee. I call it keep-away.

Say ahhh...

I love going to the vet for my yearly physical – not because I like having my legs stretched over my head or my ass poked with needles, but because I so enjoy watching Dan have to scoop my poo into that little yellow container. No, it's not as good as a hole in the bag; but hey, what is?

A man of few words

Grampa Tony: Uh, Maui...?

Me: Yes, Grampa?

Grampa Tony: Why is Dan taking a picture of us?

Me: It's for the dogblog.

Grampa Tony: The what?

Me: The dogblog. It's an account of my life as a Yurkenbaum.

Grampa Tony: Yurkenbaum?

Me: Yeah.

Grampa: Uh, Tiia...?

Ask The Maui Monster

Dear Maui Monster...

I just found out that my people are going to have a baby. I'm not happy about becoming second fiddle for the rest of my life. I'm aware that this isn't a question.

- Concerned

Dear Concerned,

Your feelings are totally understandable. I went through a bout of that myself when my people's friends started having kids. But then I started hanging out with some of them (that's me with Zacko up there) and have since discovered a few choice benefits to having kids around. For example, they drop a lot of food. Now, it's not great food for the first little bit, but the cheese'll come soon enough.

As for becoming second fiddle, I don't think you have to worry. But just in case, you may want to be extra nice. I, for example, have started spending nights on the floor next to the bed rather than on it, draped over Dan and Tiia. I'm sure this gesture will not go unnoticed when their time comes.

Poof!

I hate going to the groomers. I'm pretty open about it every time, so I really don't understand why Dan and Tiia keep taking me back there, especially since I can pretty much get them to do just about anything else – last week I had sprinkled cheese with dinner every day!

I need a new plan of attack. I can't stand looking like a giant puffball. Maybe Kai will brainstorm with me? I noticed he doesn't much like Saturday afternoon bowl cleanings. I feel a partnership coming on.

Four questions of my own

On all other nights, Dan and Tiia are pretty calm when they're late for dinner at Gramma and Grampas. Why, on this night, were they freaking out the entire way up?

On all other nights, Gramma and Grampa sit on either ends of the table. Why, on this night, did they sit next to each other at someone else's table?

On all other nights, I can count on someone dropping a piece of food within a few minutes of sitting down to eat. Why, on this night, did I have to wait 35 minutes for horseradish on matzah?

On all other nights, Dan breaks into some ridiculous accent. Okay, three questions.