Ask the Maui Monster: Roadtrip Edition (Days 9 & 10)

Dear Maui Monster,

My people are taking me on a roadtrip at the end of August and I'm really nervous about it because I really don't like being in the car that much. What can I do to make it easier?

Respectfully,

Help needed

Dear HN,

While I can't exactly relate because I enjoy being in the car, the eight-hour stretches did get to be a bit much – even for me. I think it all boils down to peep-management: specifically, the more uncomfortable you can appear to be, the more they'll do to make you happy. I recommend getting up and down a few times, circling a few different spots and hanging your head off the back seat from time to time. I did that and got Dan to give me his pillow.

Road Trip 2010: Day 8

Tiia and Dan spent the day in bed working. I was going to object, but given the $22 dollar treats they bought me yesterday, I thought it best to keep my muzzle shut and let them earn. When Dan did drag his ass up and take me out, it was for a two-hour, mostly uphill walk in the rain. I was going to object, but lost the will to speak about half-way through it. At least we finally saw the Halifax Citadel.

Speaking of walking, big shout out to Aunty Becky who walked 38 km for Oxfam this weekend. If you happen to be near Intrepid Travel on Bloor Street in the next few days, pop in, congratulate her and offer to massage her feet.

Road Trip 2010: Day 7

We stumbled across the Halifax gay pride parade today. Tiia bought me a rainbow bandana for the occasion. It wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world to walk around in, but certainly better than leather chaps or two pairs of stilettos.

I wonder if I would have been gay had I been given the option? I do admire their sense of fun and I totally dig the house music, but I have a strange suspicion that I would have been pretty bad at it. My Uncle Woofy was a bit gay, and while I was flattered by his advances, I often just found them irritating. Guess that answers that.

I hate when Dan ruins perfectly good photo-ops.

Road Trip 2010: Day 6

There's a well-established social contract between me and the peeps. One of the finer points clearly requires a heads-up before sending me into salt water for the first time. I learned today that Dan and Tiia either missed that clause of the agreement or thought it'd be a hoot to watch my face contort at my first taste of the Atlantic. Either way, this non-compliance will not go unnoticed. However, given that today's dip in the ocean was pretty awesome, I'm thinking that I only have to break a small rule to even the playing field. Maybe I'll hide the TV converter at our next hotel? That always makes me giggle back home.

Peggy's Cove really is everything it's cracked up to be.

First they lead me unwittingly into the salty sea, then they tempt me with its fruits. Savages.

Road Trip 2010: Day 5

Back in Quebec City, Tiia and Dan bought me an edible bone to keep me busy in the hotel room when they left for dinner. Apparently, they didn't think I could hang out by myself (or they thought I'd figure out how to order room service). What they didn't bank on was the bone giving me serious runs at 4:45 in the morning two days later in Wolfville, NS. That'll teach them not to trust me.

After the tummy boo boo and a tour of Acadia University, we pushed on to Halifax and the best hotel yet. The room is huge, we're right on the water and the concierge gave me treats. When the peeps went out for dinner tonight, I was gonna call down for a few more, but the king size bed and 1000 thread-count sheets were treat enough. Besides, I'm sure Dan'll get me more tomorrow. He's good like that.

Breakfast in the rain in the Acadia parking lot. No time for ambience when you're on the road.

Snacks outside Pier 21 in Halifax. This is where Gramma Helen landed when she came to Canada. You can tell, too – it's very clean.

Road Trip 2010: Day 4

Dear Captain of the Princess of Acadia,

This afternoon, my peeps and I rode your lovely boat from Saint John to Digby and your "no dogs on deck" rule forced me to stay in the car, alone for three hours in the bowels of your vessel, while Dan and Tiia got to enjoy the fresh maritime air, the beautiful vistas and the surprisingly warm breeze. I just want to let you know that, had you let me come up, I would have been way better behaved than the obnoxiously loud group of pre-teen singing girls who ruined Dan's nap (or so I heard).

I had to eat in the basement like an animal. Wait a minute...

Road Trip 2010: Day 3

My friends in the dog park said that crossing over into a new time zone made them feel all groggy and ruined their sleeping patterns. I did it for the first time today and I feel exactly the same. Sure, it was only an hour, but it's still an hour of my life I'll never get back. Well, I guess I'll get it back on our way home, but it doesn't change the fact that today was a 23-hour day. Maybe senseless babbling is a side effect of time change? Hmmm....?

Also, on Grampa Tony's recommendation, we went to check out the Reversing Falls in Saint John this evening. Gotta say, not all that exciting – which is interesting because I've been pretty excited by his recos in the past (gravlox, BBQ sausage, making Uncle Peter do stuff). What was tremendously exciting, however, was running across a major highway to get back.

Looking for a good time? Try Eastern Quebec

Tiia and I on the steps of Fredricton's City Hall.

Road Trip 2010: Day 2

I'm a canine. But I'm a French canine. Why does this matter? Because Tiia, Dan and I went for a hike on the Plains of Abraham this morning, and as I ran along the rolling hills, I had to decide whether to pretend to be Wolfe or Montcalm. I chose the latter which, given the results of the Seven Year War, probably wasn't the best way to go; but as the Marquis surely said at one point or another, c'est la vie.

Dan thought it'd be fun to make me chase the frisbee down an 80˚ hill. I think it'll be fun to let a few ripe ones go in the car tomorrow.

I met my great grandfather today for the first time. I think he thought that me being a French Water Dog meant that I spoke French. I smiled and nodded a lot.

Road Trip 2010: Day 1

"Maui, we're gonna hit the road at 8 am sharp; so make sure you go to sleep early." That was the last thing Tiia said to me last night. I figured that meant we'd be on the road by 9. Wound up being 10:47. Gotta love Yurkenbaum Standard Time.

Our first stop was Cornwall where I got a chance to stretch my legs, play a bit of frisbee and get Dan all flustered again by not eating my lunch (a fun game no matter what area code you're in). After that we continued on to our first stop on the tour – the jewel of la belle provence and my home town – Quebec City.

After checking in and finally eating, we went out for a walk around and it was just like I remembered; except for the Rammstein concert going on in the park across the road from the hotel. Seriously.

The air in Quebec is basically the same at 100 km/h

The perfect end to a long day in the car.

It was only a matter of time...

This is Maui. We met in Bickford the other day. I was a bit confused as to why his people would name an Alaskan Husky after a Hawaiian Island, but then I realized that naming a French Water Dog Maui is just as random.

Actually, it's more random because at least Alaska and Hawaii are two US states; the two non-continental US states; the two final states. Damn...his name works on so many levels. Gotta say, I'm a bit jealous.