The Maui Method – Getting a Baby to Feed You

0-3 months

Start by licking your little one's fingers when you can. Do it gently so as not to scare them, and NEVER do it when they're sleeping. You don't want to wake them up, but more importantly, you want them to be aware that you're doing it.

Also, don't stick exclusively to the hands or your people will know something's up. I recommend going to the hands 65%-70% of the time.

4-12 months

The baby'll be fully alert and learning at a geometric rate. So this is the time to show them the right way to give you treats. That means getting your people to do it in front of the little one. That means it's best behaviour time — all the time. 

I'm not gonna lie, it'll be tough to keep your composure. On the one hand, you're going to feel very much knocked down a peg at home, and you're probably going to get out for walks a lot less (say goodbye to the evening stroll...for now). At the same time, the baby's going to be climbing all over you, yanking at your ears, poking you in the eye and occasionally smacking you in the face. But you have to power through and show your people that you're happy to take it for the team. They'll be extra generous.

Just remember to pick your moments. Don't get greedy and try for treats when the kid's not in the kitchen. And when you get your treat, try making eye contact with the baby so they feel part of the transaction.

And keep the finger-licking going. You can even let them feel your teeth.

12-20 months

This is where you'll start to see results. The kid'll be eating good food like cheese strings now, and tossing a significant amount your way.  Best part: your people will love you for cleaning the floor.

Park yourself near the high chair and give the little muncher a target to aim for. If a morsel comes in your direction, do something fun to get it — make'em laugh. It goes a long way.

20-24 months

You've been licking their hands for a year and a half. They've seen how you like being fed. And they know you'd gladly take what they don't want. It's time to make your move.

The key is waiting for them to make the first move. It'll look they're about to throw something, but then they pull it back and gaze over at you. Walk — don't pounce — over to them and wait for them to put their hand in the right position (they know what it is). Then gently reach out and take it.

And just like that: your life changes forever.