Monday, November 22, 2010

Mornings


Every day begins with a big stretch. What happens after that is always different. Today, it was walking to a BBQ joint without my people.

Monday, November 1, 2010

St. Maui



Dear Heavenly Father,

If you ever create a "patron saint of smiles" position, I'd very much like to be considered for the role. I bring a proven track record of putting smiles on the grouchiest people you've put in front of me.*

I also bring an interdisciplinary approach to smile-promotion, having elicited them in a number of environments; including a junior public school, an advertising agency, a four-star hotel and an accountant's office during tax time.

I think I would a be positive addition to the team, and if given the job, the first thing I'd do is turn St. George's frown upside down – I know he's had a rough couple of years.

I thank you for your time and hope that, when my time comes and I go to the better place, I'll have a job waiting for me. We'll discuss salary when I arrive.

Sincerely,

Maui Yurkenbaum


*that woman on the Ossington bus the other day was completely unfair – a multiple orgasm wouldn't have cheered her up.