Four questions of my own

On all other nights, Dan and Tiia are pretty calm when they're late for dinner at Gramma and Grampas. Why, on this night, were they freaking out the entire way up?

On all other nights, Gramma and Grampa sit on either ends of the table. Why, on this night, did they sit next to each other at someone else's table?

On all other nights, I can count on someone dropping a piece of food within a few minutes of sitting down to eat. Why, on this night, did I have to wait 35 minutes for horseradish on matzah?

On all other nights, Dan breaks into some ridiculous accent. Okay, three questions.

The Second Yurkenbaum

This is my little brother, Kai. He's a betta fish, which means he's a distant relative of the Siamese fighting fish, which means I'm now a distant relative of the Siamese fighting fish, which makes perfect sense because I'm a pretty good swimmer.

I was a bit put off when Tiia brought him home last week, mostly because I thought he'd undermine everything I've done to become top banana around here. But after a little chit-chat, he swore he'd never make a play for my spot in the bed if I promised to never swat his bowl over on to the floor – which I'd obviously never do, but he doesn't know that.

17 and sunny

Some days are just meant for the pit.

My staycation...

Last Tuesday

Robyn and I dropped Dan and Tiia off at the airport and went home. I was pretty sure there would be a dog walker coming, but I didn't know when. I thought if I kept busy, I could make the time go faster. I decided to make a list of everything I wanted to do before the peeps came home. First up was seeing which side of the bed was more comfortable in the morning. I assumed it was Dan's since he doesn't move over when Tiia goes to work. I was right. I hope he understands why he'll have to move.

Later that day, I was having a great dream about New Years at the cottage when Jenna came by for a walk. It was great to see her again, greater that we were gonna hang out every day, and even greater still that Gracie was with her! Besides a couple of burrs, it was a great afternoon stroll.

When we got home, I went straight to bed. My plan was to make it to the carpet by the time Auntie Robyn got home from work, but it didn't quite play out that way. I can't believe Tiia gave her the towel trick. Next on the list: find a way to get that door open.

Last Wednesday

Crappy, rainy day. Not feeling so well. Not even a treat from Jenna helped. Lying in bed would've been really nice today. Stupid towel.

Last Thursday

Woke up feeling a lot better and ready to get back to the list. Today's goal was to finally add a new daytime napping spot to the bed-nook-purple couch rotation; it was between the warmer white carpet and the softer brown ottoman. The plan was to break up prime napping hour* into two 29 minute halves and compare. The carpet won. I'm sure Tiia will be happy.

* prime napping hour (PNH) is between 12:40pm-1:40pm, and is known as such because it's the time least likely to be out for a walk.

Last Friday

I woke up scared shitless. Literally. I had a bad dream last night about Dan and Tiia not coming home. I think I miss them more than I thought I did. I miss Tiia's canine-like ability to fall asleep in seconds when she comes home from work. And I miss when Dan randomly makes himself giggle. But the women in my life made it all better, from running around with Jenna and Gracie in the afternoon to chillaxin' with Auntie Robyn in the evening. I was ready for a great weekend.

Saturday Morning

Weather says rain all weekend long. Next item on the list: sleep 32 out of a possible 38 hours.

Sunday afternoon

Mission accomplished.

Monday

I feel so much better about me and Jackson. Auntie Robyn took me over to his place, presumably to apologize in person. While she enjoyed a glass of wine with Auntie Julie and Uncle Josh, I took Jackson to the front room and let it all out. "Cuz," I said sincerely. "I never meant to imply that I don't love hanging out with you and the J's; but if I had to choose I'd want to stay at my place." I think he understood. Another item checked off the list.

Tuesday

It's no secret that between me, Dan and Tiia; I wear the pants. With Auntie Robyn, it's completely different. She hasn't even budged on the towel door. I thought she'd have cracked or forgotten by now. Anyway, I thought I'd exert a little dominance in the park this afternoon with a bit of humping, but wound up getting humped myself. Jenna said it served me right. I thought the service could have been better.

That afternoon, I took a full nap on the white carpet for the first time...so awesome. I totally made the right choice. I still haven't told the ottoman. I'm looking for a way to cushion the blow.

Yesterday

Gramma Christine came by yesterday for a walk. It was awesome! The best part about walking with her is that she loves to talk. We chatted about everything from seeing the world to becoming a grandmother. She told me that I'd have my challenges, but if I remained true to myself and followed by dreams that I'd be okay. It's good advice...seems to be working for the peeps.

Today

I love when Dan and Tiia come home, and how excited they are to see me. I'm excited to see them, but I think they're more excited. They came home just as Jenna and I were going out for our walk. It's great to have them home, but I'm really gonna miss Jenna and Aunty Robyn. Sure, my surroundings were the same, but it was a completely different vibe and I liked it a lot.

With that in mind, if anyone's interested in inviting Dan and Tiia to go somewhere in the next little while so I can take another staycation, I'd really appreciate it. You'd probably have to pay for them, but you'd be helping me out. And isn't that worth it? I think so.

Dear Auntie Robyn...

I understand we're gonna be roomies while Dan and Tiia are away. I normally require input into decisions like this, but truth be told, you would've been my first choice anyway.

I saw Dan show you how to put my food out. He left out the part where he sprinkles every meal with cheese. There's a brick in the fridge for your convenience.

Also, I heard Tiia tell you to shut the door to the bedroom when you go to work. She was kidding. Honestly.

My people are dicks.

Feelin' good. Lookin' better.

I wasn't allowed to sleep in the bed last night because I was too muddy. My argument against was that my muddiness was Dan and Tiia's fault (they're the ones who took me to the muddy park to throw around a muddy frisbee) and I shouldn't have had to suffer for their lack of foresight. It didn't fly. Of course, once they fell asleep, it didn't matter.

I'm not sure if it was the beach I left on the bed this morning or the cloud of dust that rose off my back every time I sat down this afternoon that finally prompted Dan to give me a bath. Either way, there's a pillow with my name on it this evening.

Honestly...

"Dan, I'm gonna have a nap. Can you look into how I'd go about a creating a Facebook group?"

How hard is that?

Maybe I need to use sign language next time? Damn paws.

Anyway, order is restored. Back to bed.

Gots me a Facebook group

Check it out!

Everyone, meet Bonnie!

If you're thinking "Oh my god, she could be your sister!", you'd be right. Not only is this my younger sister, but she was named Best in Show TWICE in 2007. I wonder if she mentioned me in her speech?

I like to think that I had a little something to do with her success. As the second-eldest of our litter and the oldest boy, I'm sure she depended on me when we were growing up. And I know myself...I'd have totally given her my spot at the teet when I was done. I'm good like that.

Bonnie, if you're reading this, I'd love to see you again and swap stories; and I hear you're not that far away. Dan and Tiia are down with it. Talk to your people and let's make it happen.

PS: Do you love cheese, too?