Dear Maui Monster...
Like you, I watch the Superbowl with my family every year. I can usually count on enjoying bits and pieces of the feast what with all the dropped food, but I got completely shut out this year. I think I need a new game plan for XLVII. Any thoughts?
- Giant Letdown
Dear GL...
Tough loss, for sure – there's nothing quite like a Superbowl smorgasbord. Here are three schemes I employ during the big game. I normally run them concurrently, but you can focus on one at a time if you want.
1. Read the room.
Take stock of who's around you a few minutes before the game. You should be able to identify who's cheering for which team by their conversations or, if you're lucky, by their clothes. What you want to do is hang around the people supporting the team that's ahead in the score, as they're more likely to be standing, cheering and talking smack; hence, more likely to drop stuff. Be careful not to get fooled by people wearing a jersey of a team not playing in the game; there's one of those at every party – at least, every one I'm at.
2. Spot the mismatches
When the food starts coming out, you'll see who the experienced buffet-style eaters are, and who's prone to spills and drops. You'll want to get a good view of the room, so best to take a step back and survey it all.
3. Look for weaknesses
There's always someone who wants to give you their food. Find them and exploit the hell out of them. I got Lasagna with remnants of smoked salmon, chicken wings and some sort of yummy dill sauce. A super bowl indeed.
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